Allyship is having a moment. Everyone wants to be an ally—they’ll post the black square, update their pronouns, share the think piece, maybe even show up to a protest if the weather’s nice and it doesn’t interfere with brunch plans.
But here’s what we’re learning: allyship is comfortable. It’s performative. It’s about making you feel good about yourself while maintaining the systems that keep us marginalized.
What we actually need? Co-conspirators.
The Problem with Allyship
The language of allyship centers the ally. It’s about their journey, their learning, their moral growth. It positions marginalized people as teachers whose job is to educate and validate allies’ efforts, even when those efforts accomplish nothing material.
Allies want credit for showing up. They want recognition for doing the bare minimum. They want us to be grateful that they’re “using their privilege to amplify our voices” instead of asking why they have that privilege in the first place.
And here’s the critical part: Allies can opt out. When the work gets hard, when there’s actual risk involved, when it requires sacrificing comfort or advantage, allies can simply stop being allies. There’s no real cost to them for abandoning the cause.
What Co-Conspiracy Looks Like
Co-conspirators operate differently. They’re not interested in credit or validation. They understand that they’re not the center of the movement—they’re in service to it.
Co-conspirators take risks. They use their privilege not to “amplify voices” but to actively dismantle the systems that created their privilege in the first place. They don’t wait to be asked or educated—they do the work of learning on their own time and dime.
Most importantly, co-conspirators understand that they’re implicated in oppressive systems and have a responsibility to break them, even when it’s uncomfortable or costs them something.
The Co-Conspirator Checklist
What does it actually look like to move from ally to co-conspirator? Here are some markers:
*Risk*: Are you willing to put something on the line? Co-conspirators risk their reputations, their comfort, sometimes their jobs or relationships. They speak up in rooms where we’re not present. They challenge racist jokes from family members, sexist policies in their workplaces, homophobic rhetoric in their churches. They don’t wait for permission or applause.
*Action: What are you actually doing*? Co-conspirators don’t just post on social media—they show up to community meetings, donate to bail funds, pressure their representatives, divest from harmful institutions, hire and promote people from marginalized groups.
*Listening*: Are you centering our voices or yours? Co-conspirators follow the leadership of those most impacted. They don’t need to lead every initiative or have their name on everything. They understand that sometimes their job is to step back, write the check, and let us do the work.
*Accountability*: Can you handle feedback? Co-conspirators accept that they’ll make mistakes and that being corrected isn’t an attack. They don’t center their hurt feelings when they’re called out. They apologize, adjust, and keep moving.
*Sustainability*: Are you here for the long haul? Co-conspiracy isn’t a trend. It’s a commitment that extends beyond the current news cycle, the latest protest, or the most viral hashtag.
Where Allyship Falls Short
Let’s be honest about where allyship fails us:
It’s often performative—more concerned with being seen as an ally than actually doing the work.
It centers the ally’s comfort—asking us to educate gently, to manage their emotions, to validate their efforts.
It’s conditional—allies disappear when the work gets hard or when supporting us conflicts with their other interests.
It’s passive—allies wait to be told what to do rather than actively working to understand and address systems of oppression.
It absolves them of complicity—allies position themselves as separate from oppressive systems rather than recognizing they benefit from and perpetuate them.
The Complicity Question
Here’s what makes co-conspiracy different: it starts from a place of acknowledging complicity.
If you’re white in America, you benefit from racial supremacy whether you want to or not. If you’re a man, you benefit from patriarchy. If you’re straight, cisgender, wealthy, able-bodied, documented—you benefit from systems designed to privilege you at someone else’s expense.
Co-conspirators don’t deny this or try to exempt themselves through good intentions. They recognize that their privilege is built on our oppression and work actively to dismantle those systems, even when it costs them.
What We Need From You
We don’t need more allies who treat justice work like a hobby they can pick up or put down based on their mood or schedule.
We need co-conspirators who understand that liberation is interconnected—that none of us are free until all of us are free.
We need people who will show up when there are no cameras, no social media kudos, no one watching to give them credit.
We need people who will risk their comfort, their reputations, their relationships to fight for justice.
We need people who understand that silence is complicity and that “I don’t see color” or “I don’t see gender” isn’t progressive—it’s erasure.
We need people who will do the unglamorous work: the policy research, the coalition building, the funding, the showing up to school board meetings and city council hearings.
The Bottom Line
Allyship is a starting point, but it can’t be the endpoint. We’ve been let down too many times by people who claimed to be allies but disappeared when things got uncomfortable.
Co-conspiracy requires more. It requires sacrifice. It requires humility. It requires recognizing that you’re not the savior—you’re someone who benefits from unjust systems and has a responsibility to help dismantle them.
It means understanding that we don’t need you to speak for us—we need you to use your privilege to create space for us to speak and be heard.
It means recognizing that your discomfort in addressing racism, sexism, homophobia, or any form of oppression is nothing compared to the violence of experiencing it daily.
So the question isn’t whether you’re an ally. The question is: Are you willing to be a co-conspirator? Are you willing to take risks, make sacrifices, and fight alongside us even when it costs you something?
That’s who we’re riding with. Everyone else can keep their Instagram posts and their Black squares. We need people ready to do the real work.
